cliffwashington:

surprisebitch:

squidwurd:

astrodickology:

marsincharge:

Good morning, look what I found on Twitter

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You’re a thicc one….Mr. Grinch

How the Grinch Stole Ya Man

Merry Thiccmas

And his ass grew three sizes that day.

medusabraids:

me watching a video of casey frey: lmao sdnfjnsdj

the comments: god i want his cock

me:

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fluffmugger:

catbountry:

The beginning.

actually IIRC this was the first photo with a specific type of camera or equipment  “cos THE progenative shitlord of  cat memes was Harry Pointer. And around 1870 he decided that Au Naturelle  photos of cats weren’t gonna cut it, and started doing shit like this: 

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then he realised HE COULD CAPTION THEM

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and thus the dignity of the feline was forever destroyed. 

pukicho:

aphuckingbeesechurger:

pukicho:

You flirt and kiss and for what??? Sex?????! Love?????? Pathetic.

To level my charisma stat

Ah a gamer, you may pass

celero-loves-dragons:

daywatch:

evilsupplyco:

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

these are my parents talking to each other about me

theghostboy:

dwarvesandrobots:

theghostboy:

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

  • “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
  • “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
  • “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
  • “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
  • referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
  • “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
  • referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
  • “what are they gonna do, fire me?”

I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”

this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far

frogluv123:

hollyleafdeservedbetter:

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HEY Y'ALL JUST A HEADS UP SIMS 4 IS ONLY $5 RIGHT NOW UNTIL JAN 11TH 10 AM PST.

GET IT HERE

reblog to save a life (and a wallet)

worldsworstfather:

worldsworstfather:

some people on this site aren’t even funny they just have funny followers who make comedic additions to their otherwise bland text posts

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